Falling for someone that hasn’t fallen for you is one of the most emotionally painful experiences a human can face. It gets you at your core. But it’s an inevitable part of life for us all.
Talking about it with a sympathetic friend really helps to get things in perspective. It can be like taking a load off your mind and heart. Psychologists commonly advise not to take rejection personally, and this is the key to moving on and regaining your strength and confidence. To not take rejection personally takes a lot of courage – and honesty. Remember you are a worthy, valuable person.
We’re all looking for that edge to make us more appealing. And one study that’s got singles seeing red, so to speak, and is sparking interest, with women who wear red sending a sexy unspoken signal.
Andrew Elliot, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York has found that men think a woman in red or crimson clothes are sexier than if they’re wearing another color. “We only determined the result for attraction, males don’t value females in red as smarter, more likable, or as having a more respectable personality; they only rate her as sexier and more visually appealing,” he says.
If you’re in your forties, fifties or even older, the arrival of free internet dating is like a blessing from heaven.
If you’re on the “other” side of 40, it can get harder to meet people – everyone you meet is already attached, or so it seems. That’s why dating websites are great for older singles – for a start, at least you know the person you’re talking to in the chat room is looking for love as well. And you have more choice, plus all the other numerous advantages of meeting someone through an online dating site.
Dan L. Wilson, an expert relationships guru writes, that older singles “will unquestionably be more incisive, perhaps less difficult and surely more representational. An older and wiser woman plausibly won’t anticipate her new male acquaintance to be a perfect angel and so will be more likely to put up with his (almost certain) flaws. Hopefully, an older man will be to a lesser extent likely to look for glamour although he’d probably still value good looks and a well tended to appearance. He will want respectable conversation, a sense of playfulness and witticism, and a personality that prevails over physical attraction as time goes by”.
The trend for 40-plus American singles – especially over the past three years – is to go online to search for love. As Margot, a 44-year-old publicity agent explains: “I work in a busy, people-focused field and meet a lot of men my age through my work – a lot of interesting men, but the ones I’m interested in are always taken. It was getting pretty lonely out there, and it had been almost a year since I had a proper date so I took the plunge and joined a dating website.
“My expectations were low when I went out to meet Conrad. He’s two years older than me, and we’ve both been through the whole divorce hell. I just didn’t want to get my hopes up, but six weeks later, I have to say I’m feeling pretty positive about where this is heading.”
Carlo, a 52-year-old restaurant manager, is also a fan of free dating sites and video chat random apps. “I work six days a week in a physically demanding job. I’m on my feet all the time and when I get to my sole day off, I just want to sit around and do nothing and hang out with my dog. I only started looking at dating websites about six months ago, at the suggestion of a customer I had become friendly with – a very beautiful woman, but a beautiful MARRIED one! She said she’d met her husband online, and that internet dating was great, especially for people my age who have a hard time meeting other singles. “I took her advice, and now I have a beautiful woman of my own.”
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